Imagine, that in a near future, science and technology would allow us to
create humanoid robots that could socially interact with people. The following
dialog is a representation of a date between a typical (technology-savvy) guy, and said humanoid female running Microsoft Windows Vista as her main Operating System.
Guy: Hey!
Girl: …
Guy: eeerrr… so, how have you b…
Girl: *loud* BOOTING UP!...
Guy: Woah! Ok...
Girl: … Oh! Hi!!! *pause and suspicious stare* I don’t recognize you as
a peripheral device. Would you happen to have your drivers with you?
Guy: What? Drivers?
Girl: It’s ok if you don’t. I’ll
just have to look ‘em up mah-self.
Girl: … *blank stare*
Girl: It’ll only take a minute…
Guy: Uhhh… ok… I’ll just wa…
Girl: *loud* WINDOWS IS LOOKING FOR NECESSARY DRIVERS!…
20 minutes later
Girl: Yeah… I couldn’t find them. Would you like me to connect to "duh interwebs" and download them from there?
Guy: Uhhhh…
Girl: Ok *giggles* just a second…
20 minutes later
Girl: Yeah… I couldn't find them there…
Girl: It seems we’re just gonna have to... *BA-BAM!!!* run in compatibility mode!!!*…
Guy: So… you wanna go?
Girl: … Oh my!!!… are those shoes?!
Guy: So tell me a bit about yourself…
Girl: Well let’s see… I’m really cool… *sexy voice* Very… user
friendly, and I’m compatible with most devices!
Guy: *sarcastic* Wow, that is
pretty cool.
Girl: Did I mention how cool, user friendly, and highly compatible with
most devices I was?
Guy: Yes… indeed you ment…
Guy: *annoyed* What!?
Girl: *high-pitch-voice* I have
an update!
Girl: I!... Have!... An!...
Up!... Date!!!!
Guy: Woah… ok. What’s the update about?
Girl: …
Guy: Are you ok? *sigh*
Girl: Would you like me to just download the update, or go ahead and
automatically install it after I download it?
Guy: Uhhh…
Girl: *loud* DOWNLOADING UPADTE!!!… 0%
Guy: Uhhh… Do you need anything…?
Girl: …
*French accent* 1 hoeur lateur
Girl: Update complete. *loud* Yay!!!
Guy: *Sigh* Oook… that was excit….
Girl: I need to reboot! Like, I don’t really have to… but it’d be cool
if I would. Do you what I mean? Because if I rebooted, then like, the update
would be completely and awesomely installed!
Girl: I guess I’m not your average plug-n-play kinda girl. I’m a bit more
serious, if you know what I mean… do you know what I mean?
Guy: Sure… go ahead… and… reboot
Girl: Awww thank you!!! You the greatest…
Girl: Rebooting... Terminating network connections… beep. Closing GUI… beep. Installing updates… This may take a
couple of minutes…
10 minutes later
Girl: ... Progress... 1%
Guy: Gah!!
Girl: *Really loud* Beep! Shutting down…
Guy: Jesus!
Girl: Booting… beep, beeeeeeeep, bip bip.
Girl: Error code 0x0BEEF69... System Fatal Error. The system could not
start because file is missing. Please reinstall all missing
components.
Guy: Wait… what!? What is this?
Girl: Please reinstall all missing components. Note: Missing components
can be found in the OS’s installation CD.
Guy: CD… Where’s that stupid CD that came with this…?
Guy: I guess I’m just gonna have to download an illegal copy of the OS
I guess.
Guy: Ok… www.
Guy: What was the name of that website? Oh yea…
Guy: torrents.com… *hits enter*
Browser: Website not found…
Guy: Wasn’t it with a “z” at the end?...
Guy: www.torrentz.com... *Enter*!
Girl: Booting… beep. beep. Msg: It seems that windows did not properly shutdown
last time. Would you like to:
a) Boot in safe mode?
b) Normally start the Operating System?
Guy: I guess I’ll just normally start the OS
Girl: Beeeeeeeeeeep. Bip.
Guy: Oh god…
Girl: Starting OS…
Guy: *relief* ….
Girl: Welcome to Microsoft
Windows Vista!!! Yay!!!
Girl: Sorry about that. The last update was kinda iffy, if you know
what I mean… *snorty laugh*
Guy: …
Girl: I feel kinda funny…
Guy: You do? Well you’re OS just crashed… so it’s normal that y…
Girl: *Vomits*
Guy: Ahhh!!!!
Girl: Ohhh…. My head hurts. I feel dizzy…
Guy: Oh crap, you have a virus! Quickly! Open Norton…
Girl: Norton…? Who is… Norton…? Want me to… *vomits again*… show you my
internal RAM…?
Guy: No I do not want to “see” your RAM right now, *annoyed*…
Girl: *cries* Am I… *hiccups* not… good… enough for you?!
Girl: *sobs* Is that… *hiccups* it?!
Guy: Nooo…. No no no… is not that… Of course you’re… pretty good… in
general…
Girl: You… *hiccups* think so?...
Guy: Yeah… Tell you what… what don’t I get you a free copy of AVG and
Adaware for you so that you feel better? How about it?
Girl: La la la laaaaaa… *makes laser gun sound* piu pi piu!... airplanes are so cute!!
Guy: Ummm… are you… ok?
Girl: I don’t have a belly button… *stares blankly while turning blue*
Guy: Ok… I’ll go ahead and get you the… uhhh… Wow you actually don’t
have a belly button…
Guy: I’ll get you the updates you need, ok?... Whoa! you just turned blue!
Girl: *shouts* 110 110 1!!!!!
001 01001!!! Baaaaa!!!!
Guy: I don’t really underst… you know what, ok… that does it. I’m shutting
you down… Now where’s the mouse on this thing…?
To be continued…
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